The Spenser Trilogy
by scoob2222
Summary: Chloe deals with the fallout of her relationship. Spoiler Warning for Season 5.
1. Chapter 1

As strange as it may seem death had forced her to consider life.

She had learned so much in her life that sometimes she felt like her head would explode. For her, there was no simple answer—everything was like a math problem that had to be filtered through her internal calculator. But although she knew many things, some things baffled her completely. At least that's how she felt before she killed a man. Sure it was in self-defense, a reflex, and she knew that, but regardless her actions stayed with her. Suddenly she understood what Jack must feel everyday (of course he had it multiplied by 1000) the guilt at taking another's life. She wondered sometimes how he kept himself standing under the force of it all.

At fours years old her parents had her tested and she was deemed "gifted." Whatever that meant. By six she was off to boarding school where she spent 8-10 hours a day in class. Her ability with math and later computers had meant she spent most of her days with numbers and machines. Even in the best school in the country she had been much smarter than the other girls. She wasn't bragging. It was the truth. She always had he answer—always ruined the grading curve. She didn't have to bother avoiding the other girls—they didn't want to be around her. Except to make fun of her.

So she'd concentrated on learning and avoided people. She learned to protect herself with a wall of sarcasm and pushed out anything breathing. She stopped caring about anything that didn't have an escape key on it. That had changed when she began to work at CTU, when she'd met Jack and for once in her life something got through the wall. A slight chink that made her trust him, that made her put herself on the line.

And when she'd killed another human being and a few hours later Jack was gone—her mind began to stray from figures and data and began to think about other things. Life and death. Why one person lived and another died? Why had she survived? Why did others die? Who decided these things? Was she really saved only to return to CTU and punch numbers into a machine? Was that something worth living for?

It was about that time that Spenser Wolf came to work at CTU. He was intelligent and handsome and completely out of her league. Maybe that is why she had said yes when he asked her out—she was just too shocked to say no (most of the other women working at CTU were equally shocked). Next thing she knew they were practically living together—even talking about getting married. He ignored—or didn't care—about the thousands of dumb things she seemed to do everyday. In fact he seemed to love her even more for them.

And that fact had made her blind to who Spenser really was. She never considered that he might be using her. When her computer was hacked into and Jack's location found she never thought about the fact that he was the only one with easy access to her home. Never considered it any of the times that something bad would happen at CTU and he was no where to be found. She never really considered it at all. She trusted him—all the way up until the moment that he held a gun to her head and threatened to kill her. Even then she was sure it was wrong. Even after Jack saved her and told her the Spenser was a traitor—that he used her—her head still moved side to side, her mouth silently saying "No." "You're wrong Jack," she told him, "Spenser wouldn't do that." She shrugged his hands away as they moved over her shoulders trying to comfort her. She denied it even then—although some part of her knew Jack was right—Jack was always right.

And that led her here. Sitting on one side of a one way mirror and watching as Spenser told Jack what he already knew. That he'd been using her—that he never loved her—that she'd been easy—so pathetically easy to trick because she was desperate. He laughed as Jack's fist clenched and whispered how easy she was to get into bed.

It took three men to get Jack off of Spenser—who only laughed and told them that he would give them all the information they wanted—as soon as he got the deal he wanted. Buchanan stalked off to contact the president and Jack moved into the room. She could feel his eyes on her, but she couldn't look at anything but Spenser.

"Chloe," Jack finally said, "Are you okay?"

She laughed—an empty sound in her throat, "Okay. Sure Jack, my boyfriend just revealed to a bunch of my co-workers that he's been using me for months now, that he never cared about me and, oh yeah, that I'm lousy in bed. I'm just wonderful Jack, how about you?"

She was startled to realize she was crying. She looked up at Jack and for a moment she really, truly hated him. Because really this was ALL HIS FAULT. If she never met him then she never would have let that wall down, she would never have come back to CTU, she would never have killed that man, she would never have met Spenser and she wouldn't be in the pain she was in now. She would be somewhere else with a computer in front of her typing away. Because before Jack all she needed was a computer and now she was filled with need for something she would never have.

He had opened Pandora's Box and now she would never be able to get all the feelings he'd awakened to sleep again. Never be able to get back to the way she was before.

But that didn't mean she couldn't ignore those feelings. She would push them away; concentrate on what she knew again. And eventually it would stop hurting. She wouldn't let anyone hurt her this way again. Would never be this pathetic, or desperate or stupid. And the first step to make this happen was to get away from Jack Bauer.

She took a deep breath, ignored Jack as he called after her and headed straight for her computer. She snapped at Edgar to get back to work when he looked over at her and then began to do what needed to be done to save the country yet again. As she moved her hands over the keyboard she let the sound drown out everything else.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Feel Everything

He had broken through many walls in his life. Gotten to peoples most vulnerable spot in order to get what he needed from them.

But he had never encountered a wall as strong as the one the Chloe had built around herself.

For three months she had avoided him unless it was to report something or give him something he asked for. She refused to make eye contact or to spend more than 5 seconds alone in a room with him.

It was driving him insane. It seemed his luck in life that the moment he realized what he really wanted was the same moment she moved out of reach.

It was obvious to everyone he disliked Spenser Wolf from the moment he met him. He was too smooth, too slick. When he had found out that Spenser had been using Chloe to get to him he felt anger and guilt, but the anger he felt was for someone else, not himself. He hated that Chloe was in so much pain and he sure as hell wasn't going to let Spenser get away with it. By the time he was done Spenser was revealing every sin he had committed or secret he knew from birth until that very moment.

They had used the information. They had stopped the terrorists. Spenser had gone to jail, but he felt no satisfaction from the day. How could he when everyday Chloe looked more and more withdrawn?

He had always known that Chloe was insecure. It was clear that she worried about nearly every movement she made and every word that came out of her mouth. But it seemed, with him at least, that she'd begun to open up, to trust, to talk to him without that constant fear.

But now she was worse than before. She hid behind a wall of pain and sarcasm that he hit every time he tried to talk to her.

There were moments, few and far between than he felt the wall weaken. He could see her shoulders relax at the sound of his voice, her eyes desperately seeking him as he walked in front of her desk, and occasionally the smirk that he found so endearing. But these were only moments, he needed more. She needed more.

So, he had done the only thing he could do. He had kidnapped her as she left work and locked them in his apartment.

Chloe had yelled for a while, which was actually a good sign. It was the most emotion she had shown him in 3 months.

"Chloe, you can't go on like this," he said when the yelling finally ended.

"I can't go anywhere. You're guarding the door like a pit bull."

"You can't keep living like this. Cutting your self off from everything and everyone who cares about you."

"Jack, no one cares about me," Chloe stopped obviously upset that she had even said it, "But that's fine. I'm fine."

"That's not true, Chloe. I care about you. I would never have survived the last two years without you."

"Jack, I appreciate you…you know…trying to make me feel…better, but I don't want your gratitude. I didn't help you for something in return. I did it because you're…my friend and I…" Chloe stopped as if winded from saying too much and thankful she had stopped before saying anything else.

"You helped me because we're friends. And because you care about me. Just like I want to help you because you're my friend and I care about you Chloe." He came closer to her and reached out to touch her arm. He tilted her chin up so that he was looking into her eyes. "I care about you more than you know." He leaned in a brushed his lips against hers softly.

As he pulled back he watched her eyes open and was surprised to see tears in them. She seemed surprised as well as she pulled away from him. As the tears fell he had no idea what to do so he went with his instinct and gathered her up in his arms. He carried her to the coach and let her cry three months worth (maybe more) or tears. Finally she began to calm down and, keeping her head buried in his chest asked, "Jack, why did you kiss me?"

"Because I wanted to. I've wanted to for a long time."

She was silent again, "I've wanted you to for a long time."

As she said this she looked up and saw him smiling. She smiled back, but then frowned again, "What's wrong, Chloe?" He had been so sure that they were on the right track, but she looked so sad again, so lost.

"You might not want to kiss me again after I tell you what I found out a few weeks ago."

"Why wouldn't I? Whatever you found out we'll deal with it together."

She took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye, "I'm pregnant."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: A Whole New Feeling

"Chloe, it was only one Lamaze class. You have to give it a chance."

"It's a bunch of breathing, how exactly is that going to help me. Did you see the woman in that video—she was not concerned with breathing while she was pushing a ten pound baby out of her—"

"Okay, okay..." Jack said quickly, wanting a quick stop to that particular stream of thought, "I know it was a lot all at once, but..."

"A lot, Jack, a lot was the beginning where the teacher was asking me to breathe like a dog in heat. The rest was like watching a horror movie, only instead of wanting popcorn I wanted to vomit."

Jack took a deep breath and tried to find the right words to calm Chloe down. Her mood swings in the last month had her moving from rapid sarcasm and anger to weeping and vulnerable, which usually made her angry again. He would really love to make her feel better now before the crying and yelling really got underway.

"Chloe, I know that the labor scares a lot of women, and obviously I've never been through it, so I can't tell you its going to be quick and painless, but I promise I will be with you every minute."

"And what about after?"

"After what?"

"After the labor when there is a baby and I'm her mother. Her mother, Jack. I can't even make cookies."

Jack blinked in confusion as he tried to follow her ever-winding thought process, "Cookies? What do cookies have to do with being a mom?"

"Moms make cookies. Well, the good moms on television at least," Chloe seemed to lose steam as if she heard how ridiculous she sounded, "Oh I sound completely crazy." She flopped down on the coach and hid her face in her hands, refusing to look at Jack when he sat next to her.

"Tell me what you're really worried about?"

Chloe took a deep breath and turned to look at him, "The first time I knew there was something wrong with my family was when I was ten. My parents had plans for the holidays, travel plans, so I spent Christmas at my boarding school. I watched all the mothers and fathers pick up their children and I had no where to go. Christmas Day I ate dinner with a few faculty members and a couple of students who didn't have enough money to travel home. However, they did receive packages full of gifts from their families. My parents were so busy that they forgot. Two weeks later I got a package from them—with the housekeeper's handwriting on the card." Chloe turned and looked at Jack, "That's all I know about being a mom—expensive schools and late presents."

Jack put his arm around her and tilted her chin up so that she had to look at him, "I wish that you had parents who'd paid more attention, who'd cared and wanted to be there for you, I really do, but just because you're parents disappointed you doesn't mean you'll disappoint this baby. Don't you think that just the fact that you're so worried about being a good mother is a sign of how much you already love this baby?"

Chloe was silent for a moment and Jack continued speaking, "And you're forgetting who you are, you are not your mother. You are a woman that can do anything she sets out to do."

"Yeah on a computer."

"Or on the field, shooting terrorists, committing treason to protect me, telling Lynn to go to hell."

Chloe laughed at that.

"And you've got one more think that your mother didn't have. You've got me. I'm going to be with you every moment of this pregnancy, the birth, and after. You don't have to raise this baby alone."

Chloe still looked doubtful, "Really? Are you sure you want to be saddled with another guy's kid. I mean that's a lot to ask."

"You're right. I don't want another guy's kid. I want to be the baby's father—emotionally and legally."

Chloe's eyes opened as wide as he'd ever seen them, "You mean you want to adopt my baby."

"Yes, that's what I want."

"But Spenser…"

"Don't worry about Spenser." Jack moved closer to her, his blue-green eyes looking deeply into hers, "Spenser is never going to bother you or your baby again."

"Don't you mean our baby?" Chloe said, her voice relieved, calmed and elated all at the same time.

"Is that what you want?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Okay, then, we're having a baby."

Jack pulled Chloe into a tight hug and then at the same time they jumped apart.

"Was that?" he asked.

"The baby, she kicked."

"Is that…"

"It's the first time she's done that," Chloe finished.

Jack reached out and laid his hand on her stomach. As his smile widened Chloe knew that even if she made mistakes her baby's father would always be there to help her fix them.


End file.
